When I first started dating again I was certain I wanted a serious relationship. When this came along pretty quickly it soon became apparent that this really wasn’t what I wanted. Maybe it was just the guy in question or maybe it was the timing but after a couple of months I quickly put the brakes on.
Shortly after I had another date that went really well. We started seeing each other all the time. Before I knew it I was being introduced to all their friends. I was invited to a family wedding. The fear crept in again. I don’t think this is what I want.
I soon realised that the parts I enjoyed in a relationship the most were things that had been missing in my marriage for a long time.
- Walking next to each other and holding hands
- Snuggling on the sofa
- A spontaneous night out as I’ve seen something in Time Out I want to go to
- Receiving a text that lets me know they are thinking of me
- Being told I look nice when going out for the night
- A tender kiss on the forehead before I fall alseep
- Cooking for someone and have them appreciate it
- Spending the weekend in bed
- A hand on my leg while we are driving
With dating apps one of the first questions I find I get asked is ‘What are you looking for’ how do I put the above into words? I don’t want anything SUPER serious, I like having time to myself especially as I am trying to grow as a person and discover things that excite me now i’m on my own again but saying that makes it sound like I want a fuck buddy and that is certainly not the case. Equally if I would like to go out I’d like the person to be potentially available and not have to wait three weeks as they have a Rolodex of dates on rotation.
I was trying to think of the right word and came up with Companion ‘a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels’. This seems to sum up my needs, thankfully I already have the dogs but I fear guys might think I’m from the 18th century if I say that!