One of the problems I’m facing being single at 34 is that most of my friends are married and have children, they don’t have the will or capacity to go on nights out to scout potential men with me. To be fair on the one occasion I did go out I hated the flashy bar we went to and all the girls seemed to be having a competition to see who could show the most skin and look like they were having the most fun via Snapchat. If this is what I’m competing with I’m screwed!!
Complaining about this problem to a male friend of mine last summer he suggested setting me up with one of his friends or as he put it ‘I’ve got loads of mates that would wanna shag you’. Gee thanks. Way to make me feel special.
Not feeling quite ready to brace the dating apps I thought this could be a good idea to get back into the swing of dating again and agreed to meet with one of his friends.
After several messages he suggests we go to Wetherspoons followed by bowling. I actually really enjoy things like bowling, pool and darts but the way this is put to me makes me feel I’m 16 rather than in my 30’s. Anyhow on we go to meet. He had a cute puppy look about him.
It felt good to be flirting again, we quickly begin messaging all the time and meeting up every few days. He was a great distraction from the misery of still living with my ex while we sort out our house issues. He was also pretty decent between the sheets which always helps. Now the down sides were he had a job that he hated and he lived with his mum. He complained and complained about hating work so I suggested applying for some new ones. I helped him do his CV and coached him for the interviews. I started to feel like I was taking on the role of a second mother. When he suggested he wanted to take me out for a night out ‘up London’ involving steak and a casino I knew we were really on different wave lengths.
For for my birthday he took me out for ice cream and bought me such sweet gifts that showed he had really been listening to all the random things I had been telling him for the last few months. Rather than feel happy about this I felt bad.
Unlike him I didn’t see this pairing as anything that would become serious. We had a conversation about wanting different things, when you are just out of a relationship you don’t want anything serious (well unless Ryan Gosling/Reynolds crosses your path). It was fun and exactly what I needed for a few months to get my confidence back. It’s was also a great lesson that I need a man with drive and ambition.
By the way he got the job I helped coach him for. He hated that one too.