The one that was a woman

I’d always been curious about going out with a woman so when I signed up to bumble I thought why not select the women and men option to see what would happen. Within a day I’d matched with several woman but many deleted me when I revealed I was just curious rather than a fully fledged lesbian.  There was one who stood out and was more than happy to take me out, apparently she had slept with several ‘straight’ girls. She had a top job in the city and her diary was pretty full. When she finally had a free slot for me it was on a date I had tickets to see my favourite band. She was not into pop music at all but said she would come along just for the amusement factor.

We met in a swanky hotel bar in Soho, I had the most amazing pear Bellini (ok I had four) and before I knew it I was hammered. She was attractive and successful and dominant. She took control of everything from ordering the drinks to insisting on paying for everything to holding every door I walked through open. I was instantly attracted to her.
When we got to the gig the levels of playful piss taking took to another level especially as I was on the guest list and sitting in a private area of the venue with the family and friends of the band. The drinks kept on flowing and before I knew it we were kissing. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about kissing a woman in public but it would seem with the alcohol and music of my youth playing I wasn’t bothered at all. In fact I felt totally intoxicated and it wasn’t just the effects of the Bellini’s! After the gig she tried to get me to return to hers but I’m really not one for wearing the same clothes in the office twice so I declined.

Over the next few months we started to hang out more and more, It was fun to have a new friend to explore London with and be taken to nice restaurants.  She was really clever and interesting. We spoke about grown up subjects and watched news night. She was so different to anyone else I had been out with before it was really refreshing. I met all her friends (I’ve never known someone with so many) and stayed at her flat all the time which was only 20 mins from my office. The sex was really fun but I found I was always left wanting more and ultimately missing the male appendage!

As the weeks went on I learnt more about her. It transpired she had been dumped by her girlfriend of five years a couple of months prior to us meeting. She didn’t want to be in a relationship ever again as she was so heartbroken. I figured I was just filling a gap so I continued to go on other dates but after she would call me and want a full run down of what had happened on them. I found this slightly strange especially when I went in a date with a girl who she had also been on a date with!  She was also a massive drinker which I’m not a fan of (she was trying to stop) and was also bi-polar and suffering with depression. The three did not mix very well especially when she took drugs that were not medicated. In my mind I didn’t think this was ever going to be something serious so I didn’t let it bother me.

Often on nights out I felt like I was being paraded around like a prize. I’m sure it was no coincidence that her ex had also shaked up with someone. I didn’t fancy being a pawn in a game. Her highs and lows started to become stressful, I never knew what version of her I was going to get. She was often on a come down.

A couple of month in on the way home from a night out with her friends she asked if I wanted to be her girlfriend. Apparently all her friends loved me and thought I was a good influence on her. That sinking feeling came back just as it had with the one who lived with his mum I don’t want this. As she was really drunk I wasn’t quite sure what to say and when I didn’t answer immediately she deleted Tinder and Bumble to show how serious she was. I laughed it off and said we would talk about it in the morning. She got in a mood and slept on the sofa that night (women!)

The next morning she was sheepish, I told her to forget the conversation. It was close to Christmas and I couldn’t be bothered with any drama.

The week before Christmas I had a dinner at my house with my closest friends. She really wanted to come. She hadn’t met any of my friends yet. She arrived hungover as hell and looked a mess. My friends one by one came into the kitchen while I was cooking saying they couldn’t see why I was wasting my time with her.

After my friends left we exchanged Christmas presents. I got her a Mulberry purse she had been lusting after. When she opened it she was stunned and started crying. No one had ever bought her such a nice present.  She went on and on about how she didn’t deserve the present or me.  We went to bed and couldn’t have slept further apart.

The next week she basically ignored me. Rather than feel upset about this I felt relived. She then dis-invited me from her brothers wedding on New Year’s Eve as her family were giving her stress (again relief) In the new year we had a conversation where we decided we were better off as friends. In turn I decided the itch had been scratched and I was certainly better off with men. Women are way too much drama!

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