This date was my first from using dating apps and clearly an omen of what was to come!! It was also a good lesson in learning to trust my gut instinct as I almost cancelled the day before after having reservations but didn’t as I would have felt mean. I’m clearly too nice for this dating game.
We matched on bumble and had exchanged messages for a while before we started speaking on the phone. A couple of things he told me seemed a bit weird. He was 37 but lived with a landlady and the day before we met he mentioned no one ever uses recent pictures on their online profiles. I asked him to send me a picture of him right at that moment and when he did the picture I received back was nothing like the pictures he had on his profile. He was at least ten years older and had a serial killer look about him. When I showed my work colleagues the picture they all laughed and said it was just bad lighting.
So off I go into Soho, when I arrive outside the bar I can’t see him. My phone rings and he says ‘I can see you’ I look around but can’t see him. He tells me to look across the road. There he is staring at me leaning against some black railings dressed in a long black overcoat and leather gloves. It’s really wasn’t THAT cold. This did nothing to eleveiate my serial killer worries. He crossed the road and went to give me a kiss on the cheek. Now I’d normally be fine with this but something about the guy creeped me out so I drew back.
We went up the stairs into the bar and sat down. I really wanted to leave but again didn’t have the guts so I figured I’d have one drink then make my excuses. I was looking through the drinks menu when he suggested I should let the barman decide what we drank as they were the experts. Now I wouldn’t have minded most people telling me this but something about the way he spoke to me was really patronising plus I’m not a massive drinker and generally only like things that don’t taste of alcohol (yes i’m weird i know)
When we had sat down he didn’t take his coat off, I asked him jokingly if he was about to do a runner and he told me he liked how his waistcoat looked with the coat on but not how it looked without it so he wouldn’t be removing it. The next thirty minutes were like I was being interrogated by the MI5, question after question and every time I tried to put a question back to him he wouldn’t really answer and turned the questions back on to me. All I learnt about him was that he had a brother that had died and he had issues with his weight and was always in a diet.
I excused myself to go to the toilet where I promptly let my boss and friends know I was still alive but I’d be leaving soon as he was pretty weird. When I returned to the table he had ordered another round of drinks. Nightmare. He then turned the conversation to how many women he had met online and that given his housing situation he always had to take said women back to hotels. Er excuse me?! At this point I asked his if he was actually married as it seemed a little odd a grown man couldn’t bring a woman back home with him! He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and laughed and i’m pretty sure he glanced at his ring finger. We carried on chatting for a few moments longer then he asked me where the bathroom was. Off he went. When he returned he bent down and picked up his rucksack. He struggled to look me in the eye as he said he had now had two drinks and was feeling very drunk and should be getting home. He hurriedly bent down to kiss me on the cheek from which I again moved back from again. He said he would get the drinks and literally ran off!
I was pretty stunned by this and couldn’t help but start laughing. A bar man came over to ask if I was ok so I told him what had happened. He said the guy had looked like a waiter and I could do so much better (thanks mate!) He told me to stay where I was and he would let me know when the serial killer had left. When he returned to say it was all clear he brought me over a drink on the house and told me online dating gets better haha.
As I left the bar I took my phone out to call a friend and my phone pinged with a message.
“I think you are are great person and I have no doubt you will find someone but you were not the Disney fairy tale I was envisioning. Maybe I had just built you up in my head too much”
Was this guy for real? An alleged 37 year old telling me I wasn’t his fairy tale?
I replied along the lines of I have no doubt I will find someone and I was shocked that someone could leave so abruptly and maybe he should have learnt manners by that age. It also might be worth using a picture that looked more representative of what the person was going to receive! He replied appologising but he felt awkward blah blah blah.
I have to say that it was worth going on the date just for the laughs it gave my friends to hear about. I really do think he was married and just out for some extra fun. When it was clear he wasn’t going to get that from me he simply scarpered. You will be pleased to know I now no longer stay on a date if i’m not enjoying it and i’m getting way better at trusting my gut.
FYI, I never wanted to be a princess, Mary Poppins is more my style!