Tears of a clown

It’s safe to say I’ve spent an inordant amount of time crying over the last few years.  Quite frankly I’m bored of it.  I used to cry and cry asking why can’t I just be happy.  Why can everyone else feel this magical feeling but me.  I chased things thinking once I’d ticked the thing…

Save as Draft

Being a lover of pop music I was excited for the new Katy Perry release but when I listened to it I really had a hard time finding a track I loved. I still play Teenage Dream weekly as it never fails to put me in a good mood but Witness just wasn’t doing it…

The one I worked with

I have pretty much met all the guys I have dated at work. I vowed that my husband would be the last one but a moment of boredom resulted in another liaison which I’d rather forget about. The sex was good, in fact I had the most intense orgasm I can remember having for a…

Not like the movies

I can remember the exact moment I knew my marriage was over. I was at a friends wedding in October 2015, the happy couple had just taken to the floor for their first dance. As I stood on a balcony watching them hand in hand, so very much in love, I cried.  I loved my…

Relapse

I’d describe the last couple of weeks as a perfect storm.  One by one things have happened that lead to me going slightly crazy one night this week and having a bad panic attack.  I messaged my councilor the following morning to schedule in an extra appointment as I knew I needed someone to tell…

Irritation

I woke up in super crappy mood today. I’ve had a great weekend and have no reason to feel rubbish but I can only think the issues I’ve been dealing with throughout the week have affected me more than I’ve realised. I’ve finally started divorce proceeding, sitting with a solicitor talking about why your marriage…

Taking The Long Way Round

One of the many things I love about music is how songs take on different meanings as you go through various stages of your life. Listening to this classic from the Dixie Chicks now I feel like it fits me so perfectly. I’m not where I want to be but I’m on my way. It…

The one that tried to strangle me

You know the phrase everyone you meet is a lesson or a blessing? Well this guy definitely fell into the lesson category. We matched on bumble and chatted for a few days and he suggested meeting the following week for a drink. Over the weekend we spoke quite a bit and he suggested bringing the…

Just a little bit of your heart

Such awful news in the UK last night. I’ve had so many amazing evenings at Manchester Arena both working and for pleasure, I was going to see Ariana Grande on Thursday in London but I can’t see the other shows going ahead now. Thankfully all my friends that were working at the show are safe…